Tag Archives: forgive

Living Life as a Happier Person through the Power of Forgiving.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the subject of happiness and forgiveness – have written a book about happiness – but I’m taking this to another level now. Helping others be happier…

You and I have most likely never met. And, perhaps we will someday. But, I wanted to share with you from my heart something — I care about you and want you to be happier and freer — even if we’ve never met! Will you give me a minute to explain?

My friend…Every day is a new opportunity. We live in a world where there are hurts – and often very unexpectedly. Nobody is immune, right? In the workplace, the marketplace, at home… at church or synagogue. People are people as they say and we are going to have hurts and offenses that try to come at us – intentionally or unintentionally. We are going to have situations where we feel we have failed – ourselves or others… or both.

I believe that mentally strong people (supposedly) don’t dwell in the past… We read this but there are times in our lives – even in the past – that things may almost be too much to bear.  They can weigh heavily on our hearts and minds.

When someone does or says something, we have choices as to how to react, respond… and what to do or say when someone does something that is hurtful or vengeful.  Or, when we hurt others…  Self-control is very useful… but then what about afterwards?

And, what about when you learn that something has hurt you but you can’t quite figure out or know who to blame? Like when someone has backstabbed you but you don’t know who it was – but you were gossiped about and lied on.

Pensive Female Woman Window Staring Person

Resentment that is harbored – even for a short time – is painful and that’s something that you will want to guard against in all situations. Resentment and bitterness are second cousins.

You can get past hurt and mistreatment. You can get past resentment. But, let me tell you… that forgiveness is paramount. So, how can we best deal with forgiveness? Do we forgive and forget? And, how is do we forgive and let it go to be able to move on? How do shame and guilt relate?

Can you still be happy after being hurt… or not? Can you still go on and forgive? How important is forgiveness in regards to your health?  And, can you really ever forgive what sometimes seems like it’s too burdensome and cruel to ever forgive? And, what about when you feel that it was all or partly your fault anyway?  And, what if someone hurt you very deeply and they have died?  Can you move on – even if you’ve not yet gotten over “it?”

Things can still work in your favor – no matter who’s hurt you or a loved one. I’m here to share with you…You can go forward – and forgiving is part of the process. The promotion that didn’t come but that went to someone who you felt was less qualified or who doesn’t go the extra mile the way you do – it can still happen later on or tomorrow. Your heart might have been broken – but it can still heal…

Your life is precious – it’s a gift – forgiving is part of the life. But, nobody can do it for you – you have to do it for yourself. If I hadn’t learned to forgive myself and others, I believe that I might have lost my mind by now. My level of toxic thinking might have even killed me. I believe that my level of kindness and compassion wouldn’t be what it is for everyone… in my work and outside of it. Perhaps I would be in such emotional pain that my creativity would have been impaired… There are many “what ifs” scenarios, aren’t there, for each one of us?

Woman Thoughtful Pensive Young Face Caucas

Life goes by so very fast! Every day is a wonderful new opportunity — and we can elect to go forward in spite of negative stuff.  I am able to teach this and help others — because I live it — a life of loving others in spite of what I feel was injustice towards me or my loved ones. We can choose to look at it as not being the final destination in our life’s journey. Read more here and learn about a wonderful tool to help you to forgive yourself and others…and move forward without blame, shame or guilt.

Join me on this teleconference call coming up – if you can’t make it “live,” you’ll have the replay… I know that it will bless you! Click here for information.

Read more here:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/forgiveness-i-am-hurting-i-want-to-forgive-but-its-hard-tele-class-replay-tickets-50036180563

Carry Your Own Weather Wherever You Go

Photo from Big Stock

 

“It’s not really what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us.  Of course, thing can hurt physically or economically and can cause sorrow.  But our character, our basic identity, does not have to be hurt at all.  In fact, our most difficult experiences become the crucibles that forge our character and develop the internal powers, the freedom to handle difficult circumstances in the future and to inspire others to do so as well.” -Stephen Covey

I carry my own weather with me. Well, and yes, sometimes I do still need an umbrella! After all, we do need rain and we don’t want the current drought conditions to last. I had read what Stephen Covey had said regarding carrying your weather with you. Since I did that, I am more mindful to do that.

What does it mean to “carry your own weather” with you? Recently, there was some very hot weather in the southeast and a lot of rainy, stormy kinds of afternoons. Well folks walked around complaining about the weather. You know, most people let the weather affect their moods. I know, I use to be doing that. The weather is blamed for all sorts of “moods.”

Now that I am carrying my own weather, it goes beyond weather. I believe that you can choose to react positively to the negative things in your life, to the negative people in your life. That’s carrying your own weather. In other words, you don’t let someone or something control your thinking and cause you to be negative. Or, if, for example you wake up and don’t feel like getting out of bed to go to work that day, you change your weather, your mood, and your mind right where you are lying – right there in bed. It’s a choice that all of us have when we wake up and all day long.

For example, when I receive poor service, which is epidemic these days, and the sales person is very unfriendly, unresponsive and not very customer oriented, I don’t let them make my weather. I continue to be positive and kind – now I might have to re-position my thinking that is ready to “go there” for a minute and say what I might like to tell them. I can say to myself, “no thanks,” I will pass on that. It’s like being shown something negative on a flip chart and you pass on making a response to that.

And, of course, there are folks who will intentionally press buttons of others because they are hurting inside. What to do? Carry your own weather right through the moods and decisions of others.

So, today, by making the choice of not getting stressed or upset by the actions or words by others, you can remain relaxed and happier enjoying the moment and your own weather, not the weather of someone else!